Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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