i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
