Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
