is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
