Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
