Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
