but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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