I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
