I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
