So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
