I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
