508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This is the high leading the old right now
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
