Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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