first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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