Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
