I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
