Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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