Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
