i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
