If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
