hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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