If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
