Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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