your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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