It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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