I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
