Don't you send me to vm
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
