he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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