I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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