i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
