grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
