I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
