So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
