at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
third nipple confirmed
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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