She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
