NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
