Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
