I got chris browned last night
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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