we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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