I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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