Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
