What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
