like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
