did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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