i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
