don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
