i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
