i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
