New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
