you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
