You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
