I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize