using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
