i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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