Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
