we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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